You know those times when you're following what you think the Lord has for you and then one day you wake up and you wonder? You know, really wonder. Wonder at the beauty of the Lord's grace and endless mercy. Wonder at how the rain splashes on the pavement. Wonder at how people love you and want to be your friend and walk this crazy life beside you. Wonder at how you have arrived wherever you are.
I've been in a state of wonder for several months now. Admittedly, some of those days were wondering what on earth God was doing in my life, wondering why He keeps loving a broken mess like me, wondering if I'm ever going to make a difference in this world. But somehow, God always brings my wonderment back to Him, gently reminding me that I'm not the lead actress in the show and that He doesn't need me to win rave reviews.
Thanks to the wonderful community of friends I'm surrounded by, this wonderment as brought me to a decision for this year. It was not an easy process, but it is the right decision. The details are here on my ministry blog. I covet your prayers as I make this transition. I am hoping that in the midst of the rest, the reflecting, the growing, that I will make time for writing, reading and of course, more wonder.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Writing on a Blank Screen
Writing is hard. I've been hearing a lot of writers lately talking about how hard it is to sit down and actually write. It's true. I'm not even a professional and I find it difficult to sit down and stare at this screen and put my thoughts together in a way that will make sense to the general public. And by "general public" I mean the 5 of you that will read this.
This time last year I was staring blankly at a white page on my computer screen about to bring a worship guide to life. International World Changers contacted me about writing the worship guide for 2010. I was the first non-pastor and the first woman to write this Bible study material and I was mortified. George, the head of IWC, looked at me and said, "If you think this job is too big for you and you can't do it, then you're the person for the job." Yikes. Not only was I daunted by the task at hand simply because I was female and not a pastor, but the text I'd been entrusted with was 1 Corinthians 13. The "Love Chapter," arguably the Apostle Paul's most well known text. Hence the blank staring at my computer screen.
I have never labored over something for so long, studied so hard, or prayed so much that I would be true to the task and the text. The writing process was a bear to tackle, but I had no idea what was coming my way when we entered the editing phase. I felt like I was in my AP English class again and my editor was like Mr. Orteza, my 5 foot Filipino English teacher who used red ink freely and always marked where I didn't close off the loop of my cursive d's. Thank goodness we use computers now. (And my editor wasn't nearly as horrifying as Mr. Orteza was when I was 16. She was a wonderful source of wisdom and encouragement and I'm so thankful for her sharp eye and skill!)
I turned in my project in early May after two months of work, and edits lasted through September. Last I heard the cover design was almost done and the completed project was on the way to the publisher. And in a few months I'll be on an World Changers trip and get to hear the worship speaker deliver the messages the Lord wrote through me. Humbling to say the least.
Writing is a beautiful and terrifying thing. It is a powerful medium and a captivating art. I think I'll keep staring at this white screen and see what happens next.
This time last year I was staring blankly at a white page on my computer screen about to bring a worship guide to life. International World Changers contacted me about writing the worship guide for 2010. I was the first non-pastor and the first woman to write this Bible study material and I was mortified. George, the head of IWC, looked at me and said, "If you think this job is too big for you and you can't do it, then you're the person for the job." Yikes. Not only was I daunted by the task at hand simply because I was female and not a pastor, but the text I'd been entrusted with was 1 Corinthians 13. The "Love Chapter," arguably the Apostle Paul's most well known text. Hence the blank staring at my computer screen.
I have never labored over something for so long, studied so hard, or prayed so much that I would be true to the task and the text. The writing process was a bear to tackle, but I had no idea what was coming my way when we entered the editing phase. I felt like I was in my AP English class again and my editor was like Mr. Orteza, my 5 foot Filipino English teacher who used red ink freely and always marked where I didn't close off the loop of my cursive d's. Thank goodness we use computers now. (And my editor wasn't nearly as horrifying as Mr. Orteza was when I was 16. She was a wonderful source of wisdom and encouragement and I'm so thankful for her sharp eye and skill!)
I turned in my project in early May after two months of work, and edits lasted through September. Last I heard the cover design was almost done and the completed project was on the way to the publisher. And in a few months I'll be on an World Changers trip and get to hear the worship speaker deliver the messages the Lord wrote through me. Humbling to say the least.
Writing is a beautiful and terrifying thing. It is a powerful medium and a captivating art. I think I'll keep staring at this white screen and see what happens next.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Someone once told me that blogging improves your writing skills. Someone else said that if you're going to blog, don't try to imitate anyone else, just be yourself. I want to be a better writer, and I don't know how to be anyone but myself, so here goes my attempt at a more formal reentry to the blogging community. My hope is simply to have a forum where I can share what I think about current events, faith, the crazy things that always seem to happen to me. I want to know what you think too. I want to grow as a writer, as a listener, as a person, in the faith that I cling to daily. And I want to laugh. A lot. Here's to the journey ahead...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
